REVIEW: Iyanla: The Myth of The Angry Black Woman

In today's society most women, black women in particular, who have been broken or beat down are labeled as being angry for no apparent reason, when in actuality the trials and tribulations they have gone through in life have caused them to become bitter and left them damaged and yearning to heal. Despite such hardships, Iyanla Vanzant has been a strong representation of how to heal and transition in life for the better. She has had three successful seasons for her show Iyanla: Fix My Life, and is now in the middle of her fourth season. Iyanla’s show is solely about healing and perspiring to overcome and be better than your past mistakes. And within this particular season she will be guiding a group of black women living in the same house through their own processes of healing. Although these women do not know each other, they are all there for the same predominant reason, and that is to overcome their fear of healing . I love this show because I am always open to wisdom and a good lesson on life itself.

For starters, women in general tend to clash with each other when there are different personalities all in one house, and so the dramatic element of the show appeals to viewers. For example, in the first episode of season 4, the group of women were drinking on the first night they arrived in the house. Some drank a little too much and tensions started to rise. There were two women in particular that were at odds with each other, Gloria and Alana. When Iyanla questioned the ladies about what happened Gloria made excuses for her actions instead of owning up to what she did. I love the fact that Iyanla did not allow Gloria to put the blame on Alana, but instead she redirected her and made her realize her faults in the situation as well. Iyanla makes these women realize the truth about themselves and how they are responsible for their own actions and should not allow anyone else to cause them to lose their self control. Both the drama that ensued and the life lessons taught, Iyanla’s show engages readers.

Secondly, Iyanla helps these women build their self-esteem back up from being broken by several reasons. One young lady in particular, Lira, struggles the most with loving herself out of everyone in the group. She is a stripper at 22 years old and was once engaged to a rapper by the name of Rick Ross and that took a toll on the way she sees herself. Along with him cheating on her and disrespecting her so much to the point where she lost herself, Lira also lost herself while stripping and becoming a millionaire at 22. As Iyanla puts it, it is okay to make money stripping, as long you don’t lose sight of yourself while doing so. I love the way Iyanla teaches these ladies that their past does not define them. Regardless of the fact that Lira was broken after her relationship, she can still find herself and learn to respect herself again. Iyanla makes that very clear to Lira and let's her know she is not alone through this process.

Lastly, Iyanla does group sessions so that everyone can confess and learn from each other. For example, in episode 3 of season 4, Iyanla invited a group of black men to the house of healing in order for them to meet the ladies, but, these were not just any group of men. These men had been through multiple downfalls with black women, so much to the point where they only dated outside of their race. These men had the mindset that a black woman is too controlling and bitter. As they put it, they would rather not have to deal with a woman who wants to be the man in the relationship. Iyanla brought these men to the house so that the ladies could explain to them what they have been through that has made them so bitter and filled with so much hatred. The men also had a chance to give their reasons on why they prefer not to date black women, telling stories from their previous relationships and how their relationships had a negative effect on their views of dating a black woman. I love the way Iyanla does not make the women grow by themselves, but rather as a group. The group therapy she does is highly effective and a way for these ladies to tell their story without feeling alone.

Furthermore, I believe a black woman of any age who is open to any type of advice or looking for a way to reassure herself that she is not alone when it comes to dealing with the stereotypes that come with being a black woman will enjoy this show. According to Rafat Sanni, a writer for “Arts.Mic”, Iyanla has been accused of luring people on to the show and discussing other topics not related to what they agreed to discuss on the show. I have seen nearly all episodes and most of the guests on the show have a great experience and end up changing for the better. I have also watched a couple of episodes where guests have backed out of the healing process because they were not ready to face the truth. From watching the show, anyone can get up and leave when they please. No one seems to be forced to do anything they do not wish to do.

In conclusion, I know what it feels like to be judged. I’m sure all women know this feeling. However, Iyanla is out to defeat the myth of the angry black woman. People in general do not realize the issues women face. Men in particular tend to be blind to the problems women deal with in life. This is mainly what Iyanla is trying to prove, black women are not angry, they are simply tired of being broken and have put a guard on their hearts.

New episodes of Iyanla’s show come on every Saturday at 9:00 pm. Episodes that have been premiered already sometimes are shown again on Wednesdays. This is when I normally catch up on the show because I work a lot on the weekends.